Webmaster's comment - some have been known to take this feature far
too seriously...chill out, it really is only a
bit of fun!!
Forget Brexit - what are the chances of a Clexit
from the First Division North? You don't need a referendum to
find the answer to this one. The truth, along with every other
detail, is set out below. Stick your mortgage on the outcome -
it's guaranteed**. Any problems, just drop me a line for
reimbursement, it's: Nigel Farage, c/o Narnia, Never Never
Mystic Anorak Predictions - In final
Division position order :
1. Tadcaster Albion The NECL champions from last
season. Seem to be another AFC Fylde in the making, courtesy
of another baby Abramovich. Not been there since the 80s in
the FA Vase, but suspect they might provide a sterner test
2. Scarborough Athletic Only one season to go until
they're back in their home town. Dreadful season last season,
but ex-Guiseley boss Steve Kittrick, their experienced manager
who came in at the end of last year, is no mug. Good
pre-season augurs well.
3. Glossop North End Had a tremendous run at a
play-off place last season and only just fell short. Good,
noisy, good-humoured away support boosted many crowds last
season. Much will depend if they can wind themselves up for
another crack at it.
4. Hyde United Flirted with relegation
throughout most of last season but still surprised everyone by
coming down. A genuine non-league name this lot. Won't be
happy about being at this level.
5. Farsley Celtic If ever a team had an Indian
sign on us, it is this lot. One solitary goal and never a
sniff of a point is the sum total of our efforts away from
home. Word is, they're setting their stall out this season for
a big push.
6. Bamber Bridge Good set up, always find a few
quid down the sofa for players. The last few seasons the spine
has remained the same and their perennial play-off status
7. Lancaster City A great end to the season saw
them finish just outside the play-off spots. They seem to have
been very aggressive in searching out talent for the coming
season and their solid away support could be rewarded.
8. Colwyn Bay It's been a good few seasons since
we headed down the A55. Since then, Bay have been holding
steady in the Conference North. I remember a heavy post match
session in a quarry many moons ago. Lot of money coming in
from the Chair, so could be looking to bounce straight back. A
new manager in Paul Moore will also provide an interesting
9. Trafford Only recently come down from the
Premier Division and in patches last season played some
terrific football. Not averse to mixing it a bit, and will be
10. Ramsbottom United The wheels fell off the
Rammy wagon when Johnno and Bernard upped sticks and went to
the comfier climes of Salford's bank balance. They survived in
the Premier Division that season, but last season it was a
bridge too far. New joint managers and plenty of positive talk
at the moment.
11. Colne This one does take me back to the scene
of my first away game 36 years ago. They were Dynamoes then,
but the current incarnation not only has a very familiar
ground (ie nothing has changed), but also a lot of familiar
Blues faces for us all to recall, including Messrs Nangle and
Pugh. Bound to be some kind of promotion bounce.
12. Mossley Always a big, solid side, but have
never really got the wind back in their sails. Always got the
potential to get on a roll. Looking to improve on my record of
one sunny day at a Mossley away game.
13. Burscough Surprised many people, themselves
included, when they went on a superb run to enter last
season's play-off slots. Can they remember how they did it?
14. Clitheroe Only a handful of players remained
after Garner and Parr handed back the reins. Sure to play
attractive football, much will depend on how quickly Simon
Haworth and Gareth Roberts can mould their squad together.
15. Ossett Albion
Must be the first player/Chair I've ever come across, but
whatever he did, he assembled a team full of tremendous team
spirit and desire, who administered an absolute caning to us
at their place. For once, they're not going in my bottom two.
16. Brighouse Town Third season now in this
league. Venue for one of the best games ever as Blues threw
away a 3-0 lead, only to make it 4-3 after Town equalised.
17. Droylsden Peaked years ago when they made the
Conference North. Despite bursting on to the scene in their
first game back at this level trouncing Brig, they never
18. Ossett Town Have played at a higher level, but
have never really put a consistent run of form together.
19. Kendal Town Meltdown off the pitch, a new
manager on it, and yet still they finished reasonably
comfortably. Is the meat pie back on the menu? Is everyone
back on side?.
20. Prescot Cables A real non-league club, with
good, knowledgeable fans. Never a push over, and one of these
seasons will bid to go back up a league. Might just not be
Nice meat and potato pie.
22. Radcliffe Borough A very thin couple of
seasons for Borough. Unless the winds are blowing in the right
direction, it could be Goodnight Charlie.
Your home may be at risk if you take these predictions
seriously. Blue Swayed Views will not be held in any
for your undoubtable losses.