Mystic Anorak

Webmaster's comment - some have been known to take this feature far too seriously...chill out, it really is only a bit of fun!!

Mystic Anorak 2016/17
Forget Brexit - what are the chances of a Clexit from the First Division North? You don't need a referendum to find the answer to this one. The truth, along with every other detail, is set out below. Stick your mortgage on the outcome - it's guaranteed**. Any problems, just drop me a line for reimbursement, it's: Nigel Farage, c/o Narnia, Never Never Land..

Mystic Anorak Predictions - In final Division position order :

1. Tadcaster Albion – The NECL champions from last season. Seem to be another AFC Fylde in the making, courtesy of another baby Abramovich. Not been there since the 80s in the FA Vase, but suspect they might provide a sterner test this time. 

2. Scarborough Athletic
– Only one season to go until they're back in their home town. Dreadful season last season, but ex-Guiseley boss Steve Kittrick, their experienced manager who came in at the end of last year, is no mug. Good pre-season augurs well.

3. Glossop North End – Had a tremendous run at a play-off place last season and only just fell short. Good, noisy, good-humoured away support boosted many crowds last season. Much will depend if they can wind themselves up for another crack at it.

4. Hyde United – Flirted with relegation throughout most of last season but still surprised everyone by coming down. A genuine non-league name this lot. Won't be happy about being at this level.

5. Farsley Celtic – If ever a team had an Indian sign on us, it is this lot. One solitary goal and never a sniff of a point is the sum total of our efforts away from home. Word is, they're setting their stall out this season for a big push.

6. Bamber Bridge – Good set up, always find a few quid down the sofa for players. The last few seasons the spine has remained the same and their perennial play-off status reflects this.

7. Lancaster City – A great end to the season saw them finish just outside the play-off spots. They seem to have been very aggressive in searching out talent for the coming season and their solid away support could be rewarded.

8. Colwyn Bay – It's been a good few seasons since we headed down the A55. Since then, Bay have been holding steady in the Conference North. I remember a heavy post match session in a quarry many moons ago. Lot of money coming in from the Chair, so could be looking to bounce straight back. A new manager in Paul Moore will also provide an interesting dynamic.

9. Trafford – Only recently come down from the Premier Division and in patches last season played some terrific football. Not averse to mixing it a bit, and will be handy.

10. Ramsbottom United – The wheels fell off the Rammy wagon when Johnno and Bernard upped sticks and went to the comfier climes of Salford's bank balance. They survived in the Premier Division that season, but last season it was a bridge too far. New joint managers and plenty of positive talk at the moment.

11. Colne – This one does take me back to the scene of my first away game 36 years ago. They were Dynamoes then, but the current incarnation not only has a very familiar ground (ie nothing has changed), but also a lot of familiar Blues faces for us all to recall, including Messrs Nangle and Pugh. Bound to be some kind of promotion bounce.

12. Mossley – Always a big, solid side, but have never really got the wind back in their sails. Always got the potential to get on a roll. Looking to improve on my record of one sunny day at a Mossley away game.

13. Burscough – Surprised many people, themselves included, when they went on a superb run to enter last season's play-off slots. Can they remember how they did it?

14. Clitheroe – Only a handful of players remained after Garner and Parr handed back the reins. Sure to play attractive football, much will depend on how quickly Simon Haworth and Gareth Roberts can mould their squad together.

15. Ossett Albion
Must be the first player/Chair I've ever come across, but whatever he did, he assembled a team full of tremendous team spirit and desire, who administered an absolute caning to us at their place. For once, they're not going in my bottom two.

16. Brighouse Town – Third season now in this league. Venue for one of the best games ever as Blues threw away a 3-0 lead, only to make it 4-3 after Town equalised.

17. Droylsden – Peaked years ago when they made the Conference North. Despite bursting on to the scene in their first game back at this level trouncing Brig, they never kicked on.

18. Ossett Town – Have played at a higher level, but have never really put a consistent run of form together.

19. Kendal Town – Meltdown off the pitch, a new manager on it, and yet still they finished reasonably comfortably. Is the meat pie back on the menu? Is everyone back on side?.

20. Prescot Cables – A real non-league club, with good, knowledgeable fans. Never a push over, and one of these seasons will bid to go back up a league. Might just not be this one.

21. Goole
Nice meat and potato pie.

22. Radcliffe Borough – A very thin couple of seasons for Borough. Unless the winds are blowing in the right direction, it could be Goodnight Charlie.

** Your home may be at risk if you take these predictions seriously. Blue Swayed Views will not be held in any way responsible for your undoubtable losses.

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